omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
