Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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