I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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