I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
