we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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