It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
