We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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