I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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