at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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