Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
