Just mADE A PArabola og urine
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
