So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she looked like the before picture.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
