The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
