my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
