In the future we'll all be gay
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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