I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
