i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he fucked my hip out of place.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
