dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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