hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
