I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
