I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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