she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
