Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just cut my nipple shaving
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
