You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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