I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
