She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
