You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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