Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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