well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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