you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The Olympian is in my bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
