dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize