I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
