CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
