My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
