If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
