Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
