Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
