Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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