Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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