so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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