we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize