he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
