And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
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Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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