While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize