I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
