the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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