If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
