That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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