apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
