i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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