Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize