i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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