hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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