Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  SHUT IT DOWN.

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  (480): I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it." (1-480): SHUT IT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/mpc8
  Replies (58) Good night (799) Bad night (5636)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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  (256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7
  Replies (25) Good night (20917) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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  (208): Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately. http://tfl.nu/dsn6
  Replies (2) Good night (1778) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?

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  (701): Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire? http://tfl.nu/pmju
  Replies (3) Good night (1535) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".

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  (810): you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here". http://tfl.nu/11k9
  Replies (5) Good night (2570) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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  (613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl
  Replies (6) Good night (1721) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.

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  (631): Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car. http://tfl.nu/iiqv
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.

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  (717): you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats. http://tfl.nu/2ggd
  Replies (6) Good night (1875) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.

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  (502): Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis. http://tfl.nu/i3da
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?

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  (770): So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night? http://tfl.nu/hytr
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line

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  (850): You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line http://tfl.nu/4oya
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see

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  (201): I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see http://tfl.nu/49ut
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.

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  (567): If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you. http://tfl.nu/fy7x
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Great news. Our sex broke my otter box

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  (709): Great news. Our sex broke my otter box http://tfl.nu/dqxv
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands

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  (415): He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands http://tfl.nu/d99g
  Replies (17) Good night (331) Bad night (475)

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