You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You can't just leave with hair like that
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."