You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.