Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.

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(704): Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that. http://tfl.nu/31qd

Replies (10) Good night (511) Bad night (4653)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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(701): I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers. http://tfl.nu/q78w

Replies (9) Good night (3451) Bad night (620)
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(812): View more from Indiana

How did your new apartment party go last night?

(219): View more from Indiana

I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.

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(812): How did your new apartment party go last night? (219): I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in. http://tfl.nu/upa6

Replies (3) Good night (3876) Bad night (806)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.

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(971): I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again. http://tfl.nu/g2lj

Replies (9) Good night (870) Bad night (4087)
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(678): View more from Georgia

For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.

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(678): For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you. http://tfl.nu/2vfg

Replies (1) Good night (3391) Bad night (998)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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(602): I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for http://tfl.nu/u905

Replies (31) Good night (5157) Bad night (1020)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.

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(203): The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of. http://tfl.nu/765v

Replies (4) Good night (4230) Bad night (721)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable

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(608): dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable http://tfl.nu/uv0g

Replies (8) Good night (2830) Bad night (1057)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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(717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9

Replies (8) Good night (2136) Bad night (756)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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(715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de

Replies (17) Good night (472) Bad night (2978)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.

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(715): If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues. (1-715): I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes. http://tfl.nu/6qvu

Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (429)
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(443): View more from Maryland

How's my date look?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Like a retarded elf

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In a good way

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(443): How's my date look? (814): Like a retarded elf (814): In a good way http://tfl.nu/jjcc

Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (665)
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(253): View more from Washington

Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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(253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz

Replies (2) Good night (266) Bad night (478)
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(302): View more from Delaware

On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.

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(302): On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better. http://tfl.nu/rs0b

Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (202)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.

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(401): I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night. http://tfl.nu/fkta

Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (141)

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