Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.

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  (313): mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved. http://tfl.nu/u6ef
  Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (537)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  they need to just BURY HIM!

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  (515): they need to just BURY HIM! http://tfl.nu/yy9j
  Replies (148) Good night (3803) Bad night (943)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins

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  (303): then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins http://tfl.nu/bn73
  Replies (68) Good night (6105) Bad night (728)
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  (805): View more from California

  Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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  (805): Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response. http://tfl.nu/yy5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5652) Bad night (596)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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  (513): Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home http://tfl.nu/jyep
  Replies (16) Good night (8537) Bad night (934)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  so yall hooked up?

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  (203): I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone. (1-203): so yall hooked up? http://tfl.nu/j54f
  Replies (19) Good night (5480) Bad night (1405)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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  (319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4
  Replies (18) Good night (5138) Bad night (2436)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (25) Good night (3856) Bad night (1740)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He tried peeing out of the sunroof.

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  (847): He tried peeing out of the sunroof. http://tfl.nu/ep38
  Replies (5) Good night (1401) Bad night (3102)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.

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  (503): Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cj8d
  Replies (8) Good night (2724) Bad night (772)
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  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1691) Bad night (763)
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  (714): View more from California

  he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now

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  (714): he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now http://tfl.nu/kusn
  Replies (12) Good night (2326) Bad night (575)
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  (707): View more from California

  That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

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  (707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh
  Replies (1) Good night (1186) Bad night (464)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.

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  (406): There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing. http://tfl.nu/ymyj
  Replies (0) Good night (705) Bad night (298)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME

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  (306): just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME http://tfl.nu/54hn
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (248)

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