I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion