Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.

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  (905): just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped. http://tfl.nu/8nmk
  Replies (35) Good night (922) Bad night (10064) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.

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  (603): I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot. http://tfl.nu/xny3
  Replies (35) Good night (5392) Bad night (1390) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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  (513): Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one. http://tfl.nu/i2d2
  Replies (14) Good night (4325) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

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  (281): FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed! http://tfl.nu/axg9
  Replies (16) Good night (1047) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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  (405): I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible. http://tfl.nu/59e7
  Replies (19) Good night (766) Bad night (3571) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.

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  (304): I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk. http://tfl.nu/30xs
  Replies (38) Good night (10449) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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  (865): In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly. http://tfl.nu/9uwy
  Replies (10) Good night (665) Bad night (4064) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?

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  (717): Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain? http://tfl.nu/uh45
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.

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  (678): Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store. http://tfl.nu/d1b2
  Replies (12) Good night (596) Bad night (2117) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?

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  (817): Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys? http://tfl.nu/z6j2
  Replies (11) Good night (1956) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING

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  (812): And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/tkug
  Replies (14) Good night (1651) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.

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  (813): I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/rba0
  Replies (3) Good night (2116) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast

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  (+27): Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast http://tfl.nu/wh5g
  Replies (2) Good night (1302) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

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  (574): Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others http://tfl.nu/5o0g
  Replies (4) Good night (992) Bad night (504)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.

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  (513): Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth. http://tfl.nu/s6hy
  Replies (5) Good night (1573) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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