Don't you send me to vm
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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