Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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