Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
