You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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