I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
