can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
