I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
