nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you had me at cake vodka
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
