did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
