Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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