I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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