Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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